In the story of Emmaus, Jesus walks along the road with two who were so deep in grief that they were unable to recognize him as Jesus. Though grieving, they still continued the path, sharing the news of Jesus, as well as offering for him to stay with them as they ate and rested. They continued to live as they believed but were still too consumed with their feelings that they did not recognize Jesus until he broke bread with them, to which they say “were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”
In life, we will continue to move forward, regardless of what we are faced with. Whether it is overcoming a lost loved one, managing a breakup, adjusting to a major life change, or even trying to get out of bed when your mental health is not great. We face challenges and overcome them and continue to move how we believe is best, though the grief and pain may remain. When I think of this story, I think of how I relate to the journey they went through with Jesus and how they had that “Aha!” moment and questioned their awareness of his presence.
When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I grieved for a brief moment but continued on with my responsibilities and living my life the way I thought was best in order to not give up. I continued to spend time with friends, go on trips, pray and go to church, and even get promotions at work, all while managing my feelings. I never stopped moving, but that was the thing… I never really stopped to take the time to understand and truly be in the moment, because I was so busy trying to stay active to “get over” my grief. Although I had all these amazing moments that were happening in my life, I never felt fully connected to them and it almost felt as though I was just going through the motions. I never got to really be present because my mind was still so cluttered with my worries, fears, and sadness.
I realized that it wasn’t until I was at a friend’s birthday party, where one of my good friends walked up to me and told me to tell them what’s wrong, to which I immediately said nothing, but she knew me well enough to know that it wasn’t it. So she pulled out the karaoke on the TV and had me start to sing “Who You Are” by Jessie J. Through the lyrics, “it’s okay not to be okay, sometimes it’s hard to follow your heart, tears don’t mean you’re losing everybody’s bruising, just be true to who you are”, I had my “Aha!” moment, just like the two men walking with Jesus.
There are so many moments in my life that Jesus walks with me and he has never gone away. It’s the moments that I get to spend time with my family and friends, and even the small moments where I appreciate being able to move my body and go to the gym. I always felt crippled by my hurt about my mom that it never truly let me be present and understand that God was working through others to get to me the whole time. I no longer moved through the motions of life, but instead slowed down and recognized the amazing moments that I got to experience. Those moments could be big like being able to do a huge presentation at work in front of my managers who gave me praise for my performance, or they could be small like appreciating the small purple flowers that are growing in my front yard. It is okay to grieve and it is okay to be sad about significant events like the two men were about Jesus’ death. But it is just as important that as we live with the grief, we truly believe that Jesus walks with us every day and shows up in the amazing moments. We just have to continue to be who we are, do as we believe, and be present to see.
--Janine Readings at USCCB.org Living the Word resource First Reading: Acts of the Apostles 2:14, 22-33 Psalm: 16:1-2, 5, 7-8, 9-10, 11 Second Reading: 1 Peter 1:17-21 Gospel: Luke 24:13-35
